Friday, December 12, 2008

Holiday Eating Tips

This list found its way ino my email box and it was too good not to share!
These tips will enhance your holiday!

Holiday Eating Tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holidaybuffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you seecarrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving chips & dip.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can'tfind it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that ithas 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turninto an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Haveone for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the wholepoint of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcanoout of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made withskim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's likebuying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effortto control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party isto eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between nowand New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else todo. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling thebuffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat ofeggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffettable, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa,position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you canbefore becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pairof shoes. If you leave them be hind, you're never going to see themagain.

8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and sweet potato - have aslice of each. Or, if you don't like apple, have two sweet potatoes andone pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more thanone dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded withthe mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

Reread tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive andwell preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways,
chocolate in hand,body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what aride!"

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