Thursday, January 24, 2008

Any teachers out there? Or anyone else with an opinion...

How do you know if the journey you are on, is actually the journey you are supposed to be on? Now I know some of you will say if you are on that journey, you are supposed to be there. Or something to that effect. But I am clearly on a path. I am working towards a degree in education and question on a daily basis if I made a mistake...Do I really want to be a teacher? I just don't know. Some days I think yes. I mean, it makes sense. It is a good job for a mother. You have off pretty much whenever your kids are off. You have most of the summer off (a very good thing), and the pay isn't horrible. I mean, I know it could be better but it's not bad. I don't think anyone goes into this field expecting to get rich. I mean, we want to work with children. We want to help people. We want to feel fulfilled. Right? Whenever I have done student teaching I have loved being in the classroom. Of course I am not the one planning lessons and responsible for those kids actually learning something. And another thing, does it get terribly redundant? It seems like it could get quite boring teaching the same thing year after year. And what about the abusive parents and the poor sad cases that you are bound to come across? How do you cope with that? And administrators.... How do you deal with all of the PC bull shit that you have to deal with on a daily basis? In case you don't know this, I am quit conservative. Not your typical public school teacher. Anyway, back to my question? How do I know if I am doing the right thing? I am half way through. I will have my AA at the end of this semester, in elementary ed. Then I transfer to a University to finish my degree. So now really is probably when I should figure this out right? If I keep going and decide I don't want to teach, what else can I do with an elementary ed degree? I definitely would not want to go into social work. That would be way too stressful. But I think I would want to do a job where I work with people, probably families or maybe just kids..I don't know. I think it would be fun to work in an adoption agency. Or maybe not. Since I don't actually know what they do.. I just think it would be lovely to help unite couples with children. To help make families. That would be so cool. Another thing that I think I would like is working in a college as an advisor. I being much older than the majority of college students, find them quite interesting and kind of cute. I really like those 18-20 year olds. They are so full of energy and on the cusp of starting everything. It is exciting to me. So what kind of education would I need to do that? I guess I should go talk to my advisor huh? lol I think part of the problem with this decision making is that I really would like to just continue being a stay at home mom. That is where my heart really is. I loved being home with my kids. That is all I ever really wanted to do. Be a homemaker. Crazy huh? So how did I end up going back to school? I really don't know. All I know is I do enjoy school (most of the time). I enjoy the interaction with students and teachers. I like learning new things and not having my degree has always been a sore spot for me. I have always felt like a loser because of it. But I have had to give up so much for school. For one thing, it cost a lot. We will be in debt for a long time after I am finished school. See, we make too much to get financial aid but have too much debt to afford to just pay for school. Another thing I have given up is just being home with my kids. Being there when they get home from school. I am there many days but not all. That is hard. Relying on friends, etc. to help me out. Especially when I wish I was the one there. And my house is a mess. So disorganized. I wish I had the time and energy to take care of it the way I want to. It is very frustrating to me. I don't feel that I can ever quite catch up. So, there you have it. My rant for the evening. If anyone has any words of wisdom, bring em on!

3 comments:

Ginaagain said...

nNic, I think it's very common to have periods of self-doubt when you are in the middle of accomplishing a huge goal. You will be a good teacher and I think you will enjoy it very much.

dkuroiwa said...

Hi Nicole...came over from Gina's...I like the way you express life as "a journey"...some of us go on more journeys than others!! My aunt once told me that "what you're doing right now, is what you're supposed to be doing." I was an elem. school teacher in So.Tex. for about 5 years before coming to Japan and I can't tell you how many times I seriously doubted that what I was doing at that particular time was actually sane or not!! Teaching is one of the best things to do...I've been doing it for 21 years now! (*gasp*) Self-doubt is all a part of that journey...but don't give in to it...that's where I made all my silly mistakes!!! Good luck with your studies!!!
debbie

choosydad said...

My mother tried teaching for a while, but eventually cut back to substituting. It's a very rewarding job, and one of those feel-good careers, but it is very demanding of your time. She got tired of having to take so much of her work home with her. My wife is also a substitute, and enjoys her job, but the in-school politics and occasional confrontations between teachers and parents can be very frustrating. On the bright side, if you decide that it is not for you, they say that it is a very portable degree.