Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Heavy musings...

I was just reading a blog I follow and Beth announced that she is having a miscarriage. This after last year losing a twin pregnancy. A commenter posted this verse.

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.”Psalm 55:22

And I wonder, how do you have such faith when you have been through huge loss? There is a part of me that wishes I had that kind of faith. That I could cast my cares on the Lord. I need someone to sustain me. I need to feel that someone or something is out there supporting me through my troubles and loss. But I do not feel that faith. Sure, I do believe in God. But I question that the Lord is sustaining me. I don't feel it. I just feel a lot of loss and not a lot of hope.

I pray that Beth is able to cast her cares on the Lord so she can be sustained. So she can feel loved and protected. I have faith that there is a God. I just don't think he is listening to my personal prayers.

5 comments:

Leeann said...

Nic,

((((((((((((((((((((Nicole))))))))))))))))))))

I am not unlike you, Nic. I struggle with this as well.

There are all kinds of verses I could shoot to you, all kinds of platitudes I could say but I won't.

I will say that I love you, that your family loves you, that your friends love you and that your God loves you, all the time, whether you believe or whether you doubt.

Love,
Leeann

nicrogers said...

Thanks Leeann! I appreciate it.

CarolinaMomOf5 said...

Big hugs, Nic. Some of the most difficult times to have faith are the times that we need it the most. I will tell you something that changed my life years ago, and you have probably heard this before. "Let go and let God." Once you are able to let go and let God, everything changes. It's the letting go that is the challenge. Always remember that you are God's child. You know how much you love your children? That's how much God loves you...even more. I don't think we can even begin to understand the love God has to us, but the way we love our children is the closest comparison we have. You love your kids no matter what. No matter how much they disobey you, no matter how much they screw up, no matter what bad decisions they may make or how much you disagree with them. You still love your children unconditionally. And your Father loves you...even when you struggle to have faith in Him. He still loves you and has His arms open wide for you to run into. Don't forget that.

Love ya!
Lisa

Ginaagain said...

(((Nic))) Faith is often more evident when we look backward rather than when we are truly suffering. I think that Lisa's analogy of God loving us like we love our children is a very good one. But I'm not nearly so mature. My faith is very much like a 3 yr old.. when things get hard and I've had too much I behave like an overtired toddler. Screaming for attention, being irrational, blaming my parent (God) for my misery, and refusing to do what is best for me because I just don't want to give up my own will. I don't know that I will ever calmly cast my cares on God and wait patiently because that's just not who I am. But I can say without a doubt that, when I look back on the worst things I have endured, God did sustain me through them.. no matter how hard I tried to push him away.

nicrogers said...

Thanks Lisa and Gina. I really appreciate your support and lisa your analogy is a good one. I need to try to remember that.